Shakespeare Programming Language, 204 156 bytes

-48 bytes thanks to Jo King (mostly by changing the output method)

A.Ajax,.Puck,.Act I:.Scene I:.[Exeunt][Enter Ajax and Puck]Ajax:Open mind.Puck:Open mind.Is I worse zero?If soSpeak thy.Is you as big as I?If soLet usAct I. 

Try it online!

Exits with error if the input is double speak, and with warning if it is not double speak (which is allowed by default).