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added 51 characters in body
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Neil
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Retina, 273273 270 bytes

T`p` !_#-&\-()*}\w[vzdSsW]VZ@AXJ\E>UIDC\HTNMBR\L"P\OYGK<QF:/\\=^{\`axje.ui\dc\htnmbr\l'\p\oygk,qf;?|+~`^D.* T`p` -9\O\o<-@ABCSFTD\HUN\EIMKYCSFTD\HUN\EIMKY:QPRG\LVWXJZ-csft\d\huneimky;q\prg\lv-xjz-~`^C.* T`p` -9Ii<-AVM\HRTGYUN\E\O\LKP:QWSBFCDXJZ-avm\hrtgyune\o\lk\p;q\wsbfc\dxjz-~`^W.* ^. 

Try it online!Try it online! Prefix the message with a single letter D, C or W for the desired keyboard layout. Unfortunately Retina supports a bunch of magic letters (p being the obvious one, but I did manage to slip in a d) which all need to be quoted, except I was able to use v-x instead of v\wx. Edit: Saved 3 bytes thanks to @ETHproductions.

Retina, 273 bytes

T`p` !_#-&\-()*}\w[vzdSsW]VZ@AXJ\E>UIDC\HTNMBR\L"P\OYGK<QF:/\\=^{\`axje.ui\dc\htnmbr\l'\p\oygk,qf;?|+~`^D.* T`p` -9\O\o<-@ABCSFTD\HUN\EIMKY:QPRG\LVWXJZ-csft\d\huneimky;q\prg\lv-xjz-~`^C.* T`p` -9Ii<-AVM\HRTGYUN\E\O\LKP:QWSBFCDXJZ-avm\hrtgyune\o\lk\p;q\wsbfc\dxjz-~`^W.* ^. 

Try it online! Prefix the message with a single letter D, C or W for the desired keyboard layout. Unfortunately Retina supports a bunch of magic letters (p being the obvious one, but I did manage to slip in a d) which all need to be quoted, except I was able to use v-x instead of v\wx.

Retina, 273 270 bytes

T`p` !_#-&\-()*}\w[vzdSsW]VZ@AXJ\E>UIDC\HTNMBR\L"P\OYGK<QF:/\\=^{\`axje.ui\dc\htnmbr\l'\p\oygk,qf;?|+~`^D.* T`p` -9\O\o<-CSFTD\HUN\EIMKY:QPRG\LVWXJZ-csft\d\huneimky;q\prg\lv-xjz-~`^C.* T`p` -9Ii<-AVM\HRTGYUN\E\O\LKP:QWSBFCDXJZ-avm\hrtgyune\o\lk\p;q\wsbfc\dxjz-~`^W.* ^. 

Try it online! Prefix the message with a single letter D, C or W for the desired keyboard layout. Unfortunately Retina supports a bunch of magic letters (p being the obvious one, but I did manage to slip in a d) which all need to be quoted, except I was able to use v-x instead of v\wx. Edit: Saved 3 bytes thanks to @ETHproductions.

Source Link
Neil
  • 184.4k
  • 12
  • 76
  • 290

Retina, 273 bytes

T`p` !_#-&\-()*}\w[vzdSsW]VZ@AXJ\E>UIDC\HTNMBR\L"P\OYGK<QF:/\\=^{\`axje.ui\dc\htnmbr\l'\p\oygk,qf;?|+~`^D.* T`p` -9\O\o<-@ABCSFTD\HUN\EIMKY:QPRG\LVWXJZ-csft\d\huneimky;q\prg\lv-xjz-~`^C.* T`p` -9Ii<-AVM\HRTGYUN\E\O\LKP:QWSBFCDXJZ-avm\hrtgyune\o\lk\p;q\wsbfc\dxjz-~`^W.* ^. 

Try it online! Prefix the message with a single letter D, C or W for the desired keyboard layout. Unfortunately Retina supports a bunch of magic letters (p being the obvious one, but I did manage to slip in a d) which all need to be quoted, except I was able to use v-x instead of v\wx.