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###Windows PowerShell, 91 95 97 98

($OFS='')+('Qnuux)`x{um'|% t*y|%{"[convert]::"+([convert]|gm -s t*r).name+"($($_-9))"|iex}) 

Violates only Rule II.

It's very evil that char violates two rules on its own already.

And yikes, this one was hard to get working.

• The first line sets $OFS to '' so when casting an array to a string no spaces appear between items.

• Casting to char actually was the hardest part of all and I spend around a day searching for a way. I got all the rest working nicely but once I do calculations on them I have ints, not chars. Putting those back in a string was kinda hard.

• I found a way of invoking Invoke-Expression without needing the e as well:

   &(gcm i?x) 

  but that still lacked the arguments. And I've thrown away my goal of satifying all three rules by then already. Also it didn't particularly help me in casting to char.

• Shortened a bit with a newer PowerShell version. No useful different way of creating the result emerged, though, sadly.