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I know exactly how you feel because I am just like that myself:

I'm talking about topics that aren't considered fun by them. I like talking about politics, current events, ethics, philosophy, sociology. [...] They are talking about topics that I'm not interested in at all. (you said it @Tinkeringbell.)

I am also extremely introverted and simply dislike such social situations. But some events can't be avoided can they!

The eminently sensible answer of @DLosc made the most important point about the purpose or 'social function' of gossip:

I am not a sociologist, but it seems to me that gossip is a method of generating social cohesion by talking about shared acquaintances and experiences. --DLosc

Well, I am a sociologist and @DLosc is absolutely right in this assessment of gossip. I have found myself in such social situations and these are my strategies to navigate the evening:

  1. If the event can't be avoided I try to relax and enjoy.

  2. I try to find one person who matches my temperament and shares my interests. Then you can talk to them and 'around them' to the group without giving an aloof impression.

  3. Be a good listener. Is that so cliche? But you can use it to advantage here. Since you don't like to gossip, simply be an attentive member of the audience! Body language can be used to indicate 'active listening' as 'part of the circle.'

  4. I often ask these people who are usually my relatives and friends, how their children are doing. In my experience they will then start talking enthusiastically about their own families and themselves, and you can just relax and think about that answer you are going to later go home and write on IPS meta.

  5. I mainly struggle when they start talking about me. That's stressful but I try to deflect the conversation back to them (works well) or to a general topic. If you don't mind talking about yourself then you hold the advantage here. You can easily control the flow of conversation around yourself and they will just love it!

  6. Remember you are not obliged to engage in distasteful gossip to satisfy their social expectations. Deal with them in your own distinctive manner -- be firm and courteous; smile a lot because smiling is very submissive, friend-making social behavior that helps you here; and if somebody irritates you, don't leave early (because they already complained to your mother that you are haughty) but just grin and bear it! I would give that particular person the big freeze next time.

Note: first time on IPS.SE, I asked this very similar question about being very reserved and how to avoid being misunderstood as aloof and haughty -- it has some good answers that might be useful in your situation:

Why is a shy or reserved person often perceived as cold or arrogant; also, how can such an impression be mitigated?

I know exactly how you feel because I am just like that myself:

I'm talking about topics that aren't considered fun by them. I like talking about politics, current events, ethics, philosophy, sociology. [...] They are talking about topics that I'm not interested in at all. (you said it @Tinkeringbell.)

I am also extremely introverted and simply dislike such social situations. But some events can't be avoided can they!

The eminently sensible answer of @DLosc made the most important point about the purpose or 'social function' of gossip:

I am not a sociologist, but it seems to me that gossip is a method of generating social cohesion by talking about shared acquaintances and experiences. --DLosc

Well, I am a sociologist and @DLosc is absolutely right in this assessment of gossip. I have found myself in such social situations and these are my strategies to navigate the evening:

  1. If the event can't be avoided I try to relax and enjoy.

  2. I try to find one person who matches my temperament and shares my interests. Then you can talk to them and 'around them' to the group without giving an aloof impression.

  3. Be a good listener. Is that so cliche? But you can use it to advantage here. Since you don't like to gossip, simply be an attentive member of the audience! Body language can be used to indicate 'active listening' as 'part of the circle.'

  4. I often ask these people who are usually my relatives and friends, how their children are doing. In my experience they will then start talking enthusiastically about their own families and themselves, and you can just relax and think about that answer you are going to later go home and write on IPS meta.

  5. I mainly struggle when they start talking about me. That's stressful but I try to deflect the conversation back to them (works well) or to a general topic. If you don't mind talking about yourself then you hold the advantage here. You can easily control the flow of conversation around yourself and they will just love it!

  6. Remember you are not obliged to engage in distasteful gossip to satisfy their social expectations. Deal with them in your own distinctive manner -- firm and courteous; smile a lot because smiling is very submissive, friend-making social behavior that helps you here; and if somebody irritates you, don't leave early (because they already complained to your mother that you are haughty) but just grin and bear it! I would give that particular person the big freeze next time.

Note: first time on IPS.SE, I asked this very similar question about being very reserved and how to avoid being misunderstood as aloof and haughty -- it has some good answers that might be useful in your situation:

Why is a shy or reserved person often perceived as cold or arrogant; also, how can such an impression be mitigated?

I know exactly how you feel because I am just like that myself:

I'm talking about topics that aren't considered fun by them. I like talking about politics, current events, ethics, philosophy, sociology. [...] They are talking about topics that I'm not interested in at all. (you said it @Tinkeringbell.)

I am also extremely introverted and simply dislike such social situations. But some events can't be avoided can they!

The eminently sensible answer of @DLosc made the most important point about the purpose or 'social function' of gossip:

I am not a sociologist, but it seems to me that gossip is a method of generating social cohesion by talking about shared acquaintances and experiences. --DLosc

Well, I am a sociologist and @DLosc is absolutely right in this assessment of gossip. I have found myself in such social situations and these are my strategies to navigate the evening:

  1. If the event can't be avoided I try to relax and enjoy.

  2. I try to find one person who matches my temperament and shares my interests. Then you can talk to them and 'around them' to the group without giving an aloof impression.

  3. Be a good listener. Is that so cliche? But you can use it to advantage here. Since you don't like to gossip, simply be an attentive member of the audience! Body language can be used to indicate 'active listening' as 'part of the circle.'

  4. I often ask these people who are usually my relatives and friends, how their children are doing. In my experience they will then start talking enthusiastically about their own families and themselves, and you can just relax and think about that answer you are going to later go home and write on IPS meta.

  5. I mainly struggle when they start talking about me. That's stressful but I try to deflect the conversation back to them (works well) or to a general topic. If you don't mind talking about yourself then you hold the advantage here. You can easily control the flow of conversation around yourself and they will just love it!

  6. Remember you are not obliged to engage in distasteful gossip to satisfy their social expectations. Deal with them in your own distinctive manner -- be firm and courteous; smile a lot because smiling is very submissive, friend-making social behavior that helps you here; and if somebody irritates you, don't leave early (because they already complained to your mother that you are haughty) but just grin and bear it! I would give that particular person the big freeze next time.

Note: first time on IPS.SE, I asked this very similar question about being very reserved and how to avoid being misunderstood as aloof and haughty -- it has some good answers that might be useful in your situation:

Why is a shy or reserved person often perceived as cold or arrogant; also, how can such an impression be mitigated?

added 579 characters in body
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English Student
  • 10.5k
  • 5
  • 37
  • 71

I know exactly how you feel because I am just like that myself:

I'm talking about topics that aren't considered fun by them. I like talking about politics, current events, ethics, philosophy, sociology. [...] They are talking about topics that I'm not interested in at all. (you said it @Tinkeringbell.)

I am also extremely introverted and simply dislike such social situations. But some events can't be avoided can they!

The eminently sensible answer of @DLosc made the most important point about the purpose or 'social function' of gossip:

I am not a sociologist, but it seems to me that gossip is a method of generating social cohesion by talking about shared acquaintances and experiences. --DLosc

Well, I amI am a sociologist and @DLosc is absolutely right in this assessment of gossip. I have found myself in such social situations and these are my strategies to navigate the evening:

  1. If the event can't be avoided I try to relax and enjoy.

  2. I try to find one person who matches my temperament and shares my interests. Then you can talk to them and 'around them' to the group without giving an aloof impression.

  3. Be a good listener. Is that so cliche? But you can use it to advantage here. Since you don't like to gossip, simply be an attentive member of the audience! Body language can be used to indicate 'active listening' as 'part of the circle.'

  4. I often ask these people who are usually my relatives and friends, how their children are doing. In my experience they will then start talking enthusiastically about their own families and themselves, and you can just relax and think about that answer you are going to later go home and write on IPS meta.

  5. I mainly struggle when they start talking about me. That's stressful but I try to deflect the conversation back to them (works well) or to a general topic. If you don't mind talking about yourself then you hold the advantage here. You can easily control the flow of conversation around yourself and they will just love it!

  6. Remember you are not obliged to engage in distasteful gossip to satisfy their social expectations. Deal with them in your own distinctive manner -- firm and courteous; smile a lot because smiling is very submissive, friend-making social behavior that helps you here; and if somebody irritates you, don't leave early (because they already complained to your mother that you are haughty) but just grin and bear it!grin and bear it! I would give thstthat particular person the big freeze next time.

Note: first time on IPS.SE, I asked this very similar question about being very reserved sndand how to avoid being misunderstoidmisunderstood as aloof and haughty -- it has some good answers thstthat might be useful in your situation:

Why is a shy or reserved person often perceived as cold or arrogant; also, how can such an impression be mitigated?

I know exactly how you feel because I am just like that myself:

I'm talking about topics that aren't considered fun by them. I like talking about politics, current events, ethics, philosophy, sociology. [...] They are talking about topics that I'm not interested in at all. (you said it.)

I am also extremely introverted and simply dislike such social situations. But some events can't be avoided can they!

The eminently sensible answer of @DLosc made the most important point about the purpose or 'social function' of gossip:

I am not a sociologist, but it seems to me that gossip is a method of generating social cohesion by talking about shared acquaintances and experiences.

Well, I am a sociologist and @DLosc is absolutely right in this assessment of gossip. I have found myself in such social situations and these are my strategies to navigate the evening:

  1. If the event can't be avoided I try to relax and enjoy.

  2. I try to find one person who matches my temperament and shares my interests. Then you can talk to them and 'around them' to the group without giving an aloof impression.

  3. Be a good listener. Is that so cliche? But you can use it to advantage here. Since you don't like to gossip, simply be an attentive member of the audience! Body language can be used to indicate 'active listening' as 'part of the circle.'

  4. I often ask these people who are usually my relatives and friends, how their children are doing. In my experience they will then start talking enthusiastically about their own families and themselves, and you can just relax and think about that answer you are going to later go home and write on IPS meta.

  5. I mainly struggle when they start talking about me. That's stressful but I try to deflect the conversation back to them (works well) or to general topic.

  6. Remember you are not obliged to engage in distasteful gossip to satisfy their social expectations. Deal with them in your own distinctive manner -- firm and courteous; smile a lot because smiling is very submissive, friend-making social behavior that helps you here; and if somebody irritates you don't leave early but just grin and bear it! I would give thst particular person the big freeze next time.

Note: first time on IPS.SE, I asked this very similar question about being very reserved snd how to avoid being misunderstoid as aloof and haughty -- it has some good answers thst might be useful in your situation:

Why is a shy or reserved person often perceived as cold or arrogant; also, how can such an impression be mitigated?

I know exactly how you feel because I am just like that myself:

I'm talking about topics that aren't considered fun by them. I like talking about politics, current events, ethics, philosophy, sociology. [...] They are talking about topics that I'm not interested in at all. (you said it @Tinkeringbell.)

I am also extremely introverted and simply dislike such social situations. But some events can't be avoided can they!

The eminently sensible answer of @DLosc made the most important point about the purpose or 'social function' of gossip:

I am not a sociologist, but it seems to me that gossip is a method of generating social cohesion by talking about shared acquaintances and experiences. --DLosc

Well, I am a sociologist and @DLosc is absolutely right in this assessment of gossip. I have found myself in such social situations and these are my strategies to navigate the evening:

  1. If the event can't be avoided I try to relax and enjoy.

  2. I try to find one person who matches my temperament and shares my interests. Then you can talk to them and 'around them' to the group without giving an aloof impression.

  3. Be a good listener. Is that so cliche? But you can use it to advantage here. Since you don't like to gossip, simply be an attentive member of the audience! Body language can be used to indicate 'active listening' as 'part of the circle.'

  4. I often ask these people who are usually my relatives and friends, how their children are doing. In my experience they will then start talking enthusiastically about their own families and themselves, and you can just relax and think about that answer you are going to later go home and write on IPS meta.

  5. I mainly struggle when they start talking about me. That's stressful but I try to deflect the conversation back to them (works well) or to a general topic. If you don't mind talking about yourself then you hold the advantage here. You can easily control the flow of conversation around yourself and they will just love it!

  6. Remember you are not obliged to engage in distasteful gossip to satisfy their social expectations. Deal with them in your own distinctive manner -- firm and courteous; smile a lot because smiling is very submissive, friend-making social behavior that helps you here; and if somebody irritates you, don't leave early (because they already complained to your mother that you are haughty) but just grin and bear it! I would give that particular person the big freeze next time.

Note: first time on IPS.SE, I asked this very similar question about being very reserved and how to avoid being misunderstood as aloof and haughty -- it has some good answers that might be useful in your situation:

Why is a shy or reserved person often perceived as cold or arrogant; also, how can such an impression be mitigated?

added 579 characters in body
Source Link
English Student
  • 10.5k
  • 5
  • 37
  • 71

I know exactly how you feel because I am just like that myself:

I'm talking about topics that aren't considered fun by them. I like talking about politics, current events, ethics, philosophy, sociology. [...] They are talking about topics that I'm not interested in at all. (you said it.)

I am also extremely introverted and simply dislike such social situations. But some events can't be avoided can they!

The eminently sensible answer of @DLosc made the most important point about the purpose or 'social function' of gossip:

I am not a sociologist, but it seems to me that gossip is a method of generating social cohesion by talking about shared acquaintances and experiences.

Well, I am a sociologist and @DLosc is absolutely right in this assessment of gossip. I have found myself in such social situations and these are my strategies to navigate the evening:

  1. If the event can't be avoided I try to relax and enjoy.

  2. I try to find one person who matches my temperament and shares my interests. Then you can talk to them and 'around them' to the group without giving an aloof impression.

  3. Be a good listener. Is that so cliche? But you can use it to advantage here. Since you don't like to gossip, simply be an attentive member of the audience! Body language can be used to indicate 'active listening' as 'part of the circle.'

  4. I often ask these people who are usually my relatives and friends, how their children are doing. In my experience they will then start talking enthusiastically about thrirtheir own dsmiliesfamilies and themselves, and you can just relax and think about that answer you are going to later go home and write on IPS meta.

  5. I mainly struggle when they start talking about me. That's stressful but I try to deflect the conversation back to them (works well) or to general topic.

  6. Remember you are not obliged to engage in distasteful gossip to satisfy their social expectations. Deal with them in your own distinctive manner -- firm and courteous; smile a lot because smiling is very submissive, friend-making social behavior that helps you here; and if somebody irritates you don't leave early but just grin and bear it! I would give thst particular person the big freeze next time.

Note: first time on IPS.SE, I asked this very similar question about being very reserved snd how to avoid being misunderstoid as aloof and haughty -- it has some good answers thst might be useful in your situation:

Why is a shy or reserved person often perceived as cold or arrogant; also, how can such an impression be mitigated?

I know exactly how you feel because I am just like that myself:

I'm talking about topics that aren't considered fun by them. I like talking about politics, current events, ethics, philosophy, sociology. [...] They are talking about topics that I'm not interested in at all. (you said it.)

I am also extremely introverted and simply dislike such social situations. But some events can't be avoided can they!

The eminently sensible answer of @DLosc made the most important point about the purpose or 'social function' of gossip:

I am not a sociologist, but it seems to me that gossip is a method of generating social cohesion by talking about shared acquaintances and experiences.

Well, I am a sociologist and @DLosc is absolutely right in this assessment of gossip. I have found myself in such social situations and these are my strategies to navigate the evening:

  1. If the event can't be avoided I try to relax and enjoy.

  2. I try to find one person who matches my temperament and shares my interests. Then you can talk to them and 'around them' to the group without giving an aloof impression.

  3. Be a good listener. Is that so cliche? But you can use it to advantage here. Since you don't like to gossip, simply be an attentive member of the audience! Body language can be used to indicate 'active listening' as 'part of the circle.'

  4. I often ask these people who are usually my relatives and friends, how their children are doing. In my experience they will then start talking enthusiastically about thrir own dsmilies and themselves and you can just relax and think about that answer you are going to later go home and write on IPS meta.

Note: first time on IPS.SE, I asked this very similar question about being very reserved snd how to avoid being misunderstoid as aloof and haughty -- it has some good answers thst might be useful in your situation:

Why is a shy or reserved person often perceived as cold or arrogant; also, how can such an impression be mitigated?

I know exactly how you feel because I am just like that myself:

I'm talking about topics that aren't considered fun by them. I like talking about politics, current events, ethics, philosophy, sociology. [...] They are talking about topics that I'm not interested in at all. (you said it.)

I am also extremely introverted and simply dislike such social situations. But some events can't be avoided can they!

The eminently sensible answer of @DLosc made the most important point about the purpose or 'social function' of gossip:

I am not a sociologist, but it seems to me that gossip is a method of generating social cohesion by talking about shared acquaintances and experiences.

Well, I am a sociologist and @DLosc is absolutely right in this assessment of gossip. I have found myself in such social situations and these are my strategies to navigate the evening:

  1. If the event can't be avoided I try to relax and enjoy.

  2. I try to find one person who matches my temperament and shares my interests. Then you can talk to them and 'around them' to the group without giving an aloof impression.

  3. Be a good listener. Is that so cliche? But you can use it to advantage here. Since you don't like to gossip, simply be an attentive member of the audience! Body language can be used to indicate 'active listening' as 'part of the circle.'

  4. I often ask these people who are usually my relatives and friends, how their children are doing. In my experience they will then start talking enthusiastically about their own families and themselves, and you can just relax and think about that answer you are going to later go home and write on IPS meta.

  5. I mainly struggle when they start talking about me. That's stressful but I try to deflect the conversation back to them (works well) or to general topic.

  6. Remember you are not obliged to engage in distasteful gossip to satisfy their social expectations. Deal with them in your own distinctive manner -- firm and courteous; smile a lot because smiling is very submissive, friend-making social behavior that helps you here; and if somebody irritates you don't leave early but just grin and bear it! I would give thst particular person the big freeze next time.

Note: first time on IPS.SE, I asked this very similar question about being very reserved snd how to avoid being misunderstoid as aloof and haughty -- it has some good answers thst might be useful in your situation:

Why is a shy or reserved person often perceived as cold or arrogant; also, how can such an impression be mitigated?

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English Student
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