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##Try To Improve The Situation##

##Present An Alternative##

Try To Improve The Situation

Present An Alternative

1. "Hey, next I want to run this!" says next DM to the group. People publicly say "sounds interesting!"
2. Next DM preps their game, and then when dude doesn't show up or comes way late — they run that game instead.
3. After once or twice of that, then pull the "we want to do that more" trigger.
4. The new DM runs their game. He can declare table rules to prevent whatever residual disruption is going on — "we start on time and we'll be running till 12, if people need to leave early we're not stopping," for example.

1. "Hey, next I want to run this!" says next DM to the group. People publicly say "sounds interesting!"
2. Next DM preps their game, and then when dude doesn't show up or comes way late — they run that game instead.
3. After once or twice of that, then pull the "we want to do that other game more" trigger, nicely.
4. The new DM runs their game. He can declare table rules to prevent whatever residual disruption is going on — "we start on time and we'll be running till 12, if people need to leave early we're not stopping," for example.

Try To Improve The Situation

The other players want to be weenies and "leave it to you as the host." That's not OK. Tell them "Hey - if we want him to make a change, I'm going to need to count on y'all to also give him feedback. It's your game too." The DM is not in charge of a game, the host is not in charge of a game, it's a collection of ~6 equals coming together to do something for fun. They may want you to be spokesman but they can't hang you out to dry, otherwise it's "one guy says this" and it's hard to drive behavioral change. If they won't back you out of general Marty McFly syndrome, you may have to play hardball and say "well... I'm afraid I am not super interested in this game and may have to drop out, so y'all will need to find a new place to play."

Then talk to him. Don't focus on his behavior, focus on y'all's fun. "We feel like we're not getting a lot of play time in; things move slowly, we're having short sessions, our characters aren't getting a lot of screen time." Don't attack him and especially don't attack the girlfriend - she's not the problem, his poor social boundaries and poor GMing is the problem. Have suggestions of what you'd like to see - the plot progressing more quickly, more action, whatever. Don't focus on "well your gf..." Focus on your needs. Maybe he can change.

And you all have a burden to bear as well, I see a lot of passivity going on here - your PCs are more than capable of starting to talk to each other and pressing to go kick down a door somewhere without waiting passively for hours for the DM to point at you.

When no one bothers to improve things as they go, then you get to breaking points like this. Maybe it's too late, but everyone needs to man up a bit in the future. Try to get DMs to ask for feedback and to get the group to honestly discuss their thoughts about the game so that this becomes a low-pain continuous process.

Present An Alternative

Of course, you can just say "Hey man - we voted and we want to play something different and next session Joe is running his game. Like it or lump it." But assuming you want to keep him and maybe her as players, you can give more of a grace period. A very long burn replacement looks like this:

1. "Hey, next I want to run this!" says next DM to the group. People publicly say "sounds interesting!"
2. Next DM preps their game, and then when dude doesn't show up or comes way late - they run that game instead.
3. After once or twice of that, then pull the "we want to do that more" trigger.
4. The new DM runs their game. He can declare table rules to prevent whatever residual disruption is going on - "we start on time and we'll be running till 12, if people need to leave early we're not stopping," for example.

You can make it as short or long a transition as you want, but the key is to make the change a positive experience and not a "we hate you and your girlfriend and don't want to see you any more." (Assuming that's not the case). Now, it may happen anyway - his GF may decide she doesn't want to come and he may stay home. Or it may not, if he's boring y'all he may be boring her too despite his focusing more time on her PC, and a new good DM might help turn her around into a more engaged player.

##Try To Improve The Situation##

The other players want to dodge responsibility and "leave it to you as the host." That's not OK. Tell them "Hey — if we want him to make a change, I'm going to need to count on y'all to also give him feedback. It's your game too." The DM is not in charge of a game, the host is not in charge of a game, it's a collection of ~6 equals coming together to do something for fun. They may want you to be spokesman but they can't hang you out to dry, otherwise it's "one guy says this" and it's hard to drive behavioral change. If they won't back you out of general Marty McFly syndrome, you may have to play hardball and say "well... I'm afraid I am not super interested in this game and may have to drop out, so y'all will need to find a new place to play."

Then talk to him. Don't focus on his behavior, focus on y'all's fun. "We feel like we're not getting a lot of play time in; things move slowly, we're having short sessions, our characters aren't getting a lot of screen time." Don't attack him and especially don't attack the girlfriend — she's not the problem, his poor social boundaries and poor GMing is the problem. Have suggestions of what you'd like to see — the plot progressing more quickly, more action, whatever. Don't focus on "well your girlfriend..." Focus on your needs. Maybe he can change.

And you all have a burden to bear as well, I see a lot of passivity going on here — your PCs are more than capable of starting to talk to each other and pressing to go kick down a door somewhere without waiting passively for hours for the DM to point at you for your turn.

When no one bothers to improve things as they go, then you get to breaking points like this. Maybe it's too late, but everyone needs to step up a bit in the future. Try to get DMs to ask for feedback and to get the group to honestly discuss their thoughts about the game so that this becomes a low-pain continuous process.

##Present An Alternative##

Of course, you can just say "Hey man — we voted and we want to play something different and next session Joe is running his game. Like it or lump it." But assuming you want to keep him and maybe her as players, you can give more of a grace period. A very long burn replacement looks like this:

1. "Hey, next I want to run this!" says next DM to the group. People publicly say "sounds interesting!"
2. Next DM preps their game, and then when dude doesn't show up or comes way late — they run that game instead.
3. After once or twice of that, then pull the "we want to do that more" trigger.
4. The new DM runs their game. He can declare table rules to prevent whatever residual disruption is going on — "we start on time and we'll be running till 12, if people need to leave early we're not stopping," for example.

You can make it as short or long a transition as you want, but the key is to make the change a positive experience and not a "we hate you and your girlfriend and don't want to see you any more." (Assuming that's not the case). Now, it may happen anyway — his GF may decide she doesn't want to come and he may stay home. Or it may not, if he's boring y'all he may be boring her too despite his focusing more time on her PC, and a new good DM might help turn her around into a more engaged player.