This document is a drinkers guide to PostgreSQL that provides reasons why one might need a drink related to working with PostgreSQL. Some reasons include someone telling you that PostgreSQL is hard to install, having issues with pg_hba.conf configuration, bloating the database, being forced to use an iSCSI solution, having patches rejected by Tom Lane, accidentally shutting down or killing the production database, discovering that the database has 100,000 tables, issues with pg_upgrade, having to use MySQL, encountering exceptions, and giving lightning talks. The guide concludes by thanking the audience and providing contact details for the author.