How to Turn off Your Emotions and Take Back the Power

Helpful techniques to distract your mind and body

Co-authored by Nicole Lam and Maryana Lucia Vestic, MFA, M.Phil.

Last Updated: December 18, 2025 Fact Checked

Being in tune with your emotions is a great thing, and it can lead to deeper connections and more awareness overall. However, when your emotions control you, they can seriously affect your ability to perform and to think clearly in crucial situations. You can’t get rid of your emotions completely, but you can keep emotions from taking over your life. Keep reading for 15 simple strategies you can use to be emotionless when you need to. We’ve spoken to numerous experts, from licensed psychologists to relationship and life coaches, for advice on how to focus on freeing yourself from the emotional ups and downs that don’t serve you.

How to Become Emotionless

Life coach Seth Hall feels it’s important to remember that certain things are in your control, while others are not, when trying to detach from your emotions. Other ways to be emotionless are ahead:

Focus on your body instead of your mind.
Avoid emotional triggers that can stress you out.
Challenge any negative thoughts that may arise.
Practice mindfulness through meditation or journaling.

1

Take some deep breaths.

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When you feel strong emotions coming on, pause for a moment. Breathe deeply in through your nose, then let it out through your mouth. Try doing this 5 to 10 times until you feel your heart rate slowing and you can control your breathing.^{[1] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source}
- Mindful breathing is also a good way to control anxiety.
- Deep breathing is a good way to control your emotions subtly.^{[2] X Expert Source Nicole Lam
  Registered Clinical Counselor Expert Interview} For instance, let’s say you run into an ex—you might not have time to step away and control your emotions on your own. You can secretly practice deep breathing even while in a conversation with someone.
- Hall emphasizes how important it is to detach yourself from “things outside of your control." He also thinks “having a semblance of control over yourself and your emotions is helpful in personal relationships."^{[3] X Expert Source Seth Hall
  Life Coach Expert Interview}
Meet the wikiHow Experts

Seth Hall is a life coach with over 10 years of experience in personal development, relationships, and wellness.

Adam Dorsay, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist who specializes in relationship issues, stress reduction, and anxiety.

Chloe Carmichael, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 12 years of experience in relationship issues, stress management, and self-esteem.

Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA, is a licensed therapist specializing in resolving emotional and behavioral problems.

2

Focus on your body, not your mind.

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Get up and walk around or do some stretching. What does your body feel like right now? Pay attention to the feeling of the clothes on your skin, and try to ignore any thoughts that you’re having. This can help you stay grounded and control emotional outbursts in the moment.^{[4] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source}
- Taking a nature walk is also a good way to ground yourself.
- You could also massage your own shoulders and focus on the sensation of touch.
- Or, if you have time, do a few yoga poses as a way to connect with your body.
- Licensed clinical psychologist Christy Irvine, PhD, also suggests that “paying attention to your body cues” can help you identify emotional triggers. “Emotions are really labels that we place on physical sensations in our bodies. Getting in touch with that first can often be really helpful."^{[5] X Expert Source Christy Irvine, PhD
  Licensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview}

3

Look at yourself in the mirror.

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It will help you reconnect with your body and your mind. If you feel yourself starting to get upset or angry, head to the bathroom and look at the mirror for a few minutes. As you do, focus on taking deep breaths and think about increasing your self-compassion.^{[6] X Research source}
- After 2 to 3 minutes, you’ll probably feel your heart rate slow down and your breathing get a little more even. You might even look less emotional on the surface.
- Heading to the bathroom also lets you take a little break to control your emotions by yourself. It’s a good tool to use at work or out in public when things get a little overwhelming.

4

Repeat a mantra to yourself.

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A simple phrase can help you calm your emotions. When you feel yourself getting worked up, take some deep breaths and repeat your mantra inside your mind to be less emotional. You can pick whatever phrase you’d like, but some common ones include:^{[7] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source}
- “This isn’t about me.”
- “No need to get worked up.”
- “This will pass.”

5

Distract yourself with engaging activities.

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Do something engaging that will keep your mind off your emotions. Try to pick something that really works your brain: do a puzzle, read a new book, try a word search, or do some art. The more you can keep your mind off things, the less you’ll focus on your emotions and the more nonchalant you will be.^{[8] X Research source}
- Stay away from mindless activities, like watching TV or scrolling through social media. These aren’t very engaging, so they won’t do much to distract you.

6

Avoid emotional triggers.

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Some things rile us up no matter what we do. To reduce stress when running late, plan on leaving the house 10 minutes early. If there’s an acquaintance you find particularly annoying, avoid the spots they’re most likely to hang out.^{[9] X Research source}
- Life coach Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA, notes that "getting emotionally involved with all of the people in your life can make your life feel like a roller coaster."^{[10] X Expert Source Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
  Life Coach Expert Interview} While you can’t avoid your emotional triggers all of the time, you can do your best to limit them in your day-to-day life.

7

Challenge your negative thoughts.

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Negative thoughts can really skew our perceptions. You can ask yourself things like “Is that really true?” or “What evidence do I have to support that?” to think logically instead of with your emotions. Over time, you may be able to stop your negative thoughts in their tracks, which can help you stop being emotional.^{[11] X Research source}
- For instance, if you catch yourself thinking, “I don’t have any friends,” ask yourself, “Is that really true? Didn’t I just hang out with my friends over the weekend?”
- Or, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’m gonna do so bad on this project,” ask yourself, “What evidence do I have to support that? I can’t see into the future.”
- Certified dating and relationship coach Kimberly Hill believes that "emotional maturity doesn't mean you don't experience a wide range of emotions; it means you can recognize that your emotions don't control you, so you have some level of understanding over your emotions."^{[12] X Expert Source Kimberly Hill
  Certified Dating and Relationship Coach Expert Interview}

8

Change your perspective on emotions.

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Often, we think of our emotions as negative. Instead, try to see them as a helpful tool. If you’re super nervous before a job interview and you find yourself shaking or sweating, reframe the emotion by saying, “Wow, I have so much energy for this interview!” Your emotions now become a silver lining instead of a hindrance.^{[13] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source}
- If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated with a coworker, remind yourself that you’re just passionate about your work and you want to do a good job.
- If you feel yourself getting sad because you have to see your ex, tell yourself that your sadness just means you’re going to have a lot of love to give to your next partner.
- According to licensed psychologist Adam Dorsay, PsyD, when looking at your emotions from a new perspective, remember that “human beings are emotional beings—that is just a fact you need to accept. The ultimate goal is 'I want to be more emotionally intelligent over time.’"^{[14] X Expert Source Adam Dorsay, PsyD
  Licensed Psychologist Expert Interview}

9

Worry about your own problems.

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Shouldering the burdens of others can really wear you down. If you’re an empathetic person, listening to your friends or family members vent about their issues can really take a toll on you. It’s great to care about other people, but it’s also okay to set boundaries if you need to take some time for yourself.^{[15] X Research source}
- For instance, if your friend wants to call and chat about her terrible boyfriend, you could say, “I love talking to you, but I’m just not in the headspace to offer advice right now. Could we talk next week instead?”
- You could also say, “In the future, would you mind asking before you call to vent? I love chatting with you, but sometimes I’m just in a terrible mood and I can’t offer good advice.”
- After setting boundaries, take this time to "work on your inner self. Be aware of your emotional triggers and wounds," suggests personal coach Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC.^{[16] X Expert Source Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
  Personal Coach Expert Interview}

10

Practice mindfulness.

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Mindfulness can help you control emotional outbursts. Instead of focusing on what might happen in the future, pay attention to what’s going on right now in this moment.^{[17] X Expert Source Nicole Lam
Registered Clinical Counselor Expert Interview} It might help to focus on your senses: name a few things you can see, smell, taste, feel, and hear to stay present.^{[18] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source}
- According to life & career coach Annie Lin, MBA, “meditation can help you learn to create distance between you as the ‘observer’ and your emotions. Emotions are energies moving through your body, just like clouds that move across the sky.” By practicing mindfulness, “you can remain in the space where various emotions happen, just like the sky is there for the clouds."^{[19] X Expert Source Annie Lin, MBA
  Life & Career Coach Expert Interview}
- Mindfulness is also great for your mental health in general, especially if you deal with anxiety.

11

Focus on your own emotional goals.

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Spend time thinking about yourself and your goals for the future. It can be difficult at first, but prioritizing yourself over others will leave you feeling happier and healthier in the long run. Licensed Therapist Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA, reminds that it’s key to "allow your emotions to be there. Name them and start learning and recognizing what they are. Try to understand what causes these emotions” so they won’t hinder your goals for the future.^{[20] X Expert Source Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
Licensed Therapist Expert Interview}
- Whether or not others think you’re being cold, prioritizing your own stress levels helps you put yourself first, so you can have the emotional space to know where you’d like to head now.

12

Record your thoughts in a journal.

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Use a personal journal to work through your emotions. Licensed clinical psychologist Chloe Carmichael, PhD, thinks that “instead of trying to get rid of your emotions, writing in a journal can help you ask the question, 'what are the emotions I'm feeling?’”^{[21] X Expert Source Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview} Letting your feelings out will keep you from bottling them up so you don’t explode.^{[22] X Trustworthy Source University of Rochester Medical Center Leading academic medical center in the U.S. focused on clinical care and research Go to source}
- Set aside 5 to 10 minutes every night to write about what you did that day and how you felt. If you experienced any strong emotions, write about what happened and how you handled it.
- Keep your journal in a private place so no one else can read it.

13

Get enough sleep.

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Studies show that lack of sleep can lead to emotional outbursts. Make sure you’re getting at least 8 hours of sleep every night so you wake up rested and ready to tackle the day. Sleep is a very important part of mental health, and getting enough will benefit every aspect of your life.^{[23] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source}
- When you get a good night’s sleep, you’re more capable of making calm, rational decisions instead of basing them on emotions.
- Reader Poll: We asked 336 wikiHow readers and 50% of them agreed that getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night is the best self-care activity for taking care of their physical and mental health. [Take Poll]

14

Avoid using drugs or alcohol to bury emotions.

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It will probably only make your problems worse. Using drugs or alcohol to tamp down what you’re feeling or get to a place where you don’t feel at all isn’t a good long-term solution, and your emotions will continue to build until you address them. Self-medicating is never a good idea, and it can leave you in a worse place than when you started.^{[24] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source}
- Food can also be used as a way to tamp down emotions, whether that’s overeating or undereating. Try to stick to a regular, healthy diet as you work through your emotions.

15

Consider seeking professional help.

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A therapist can also assist you in finding specific strategies for dealing with and regulating your emotions.^{[25] X Expert Source Nicole Lam
Registered Clinical Counselor Expert Interview} Plus, you’ll learn to identify the behaviors or mindsets that are working against you so you can feel more freedom from your emotional triggers.^{[26] X Research source}

Expert Q&A

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Question

Is it good to be emotionless?

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

Licensed Psychologist

Expert Answer

No, our emotions contain important information. They're a way to process what you're experiencing and it's your body's way of telling you how it feels. With that said, it's true that you don't want your emotions to overwhelm you to the point that you lose control.

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